Thursday, January 25, 2007

Broadcast News

Years back, shortly after we'd moved to New York, my girlfriend and I wanted to coauthor a book about customer service. We were both Californians who had been shocked and appalled by the sorry, sorry lack of service or respect given to the customer out there and we wanted to tell those stories. (For example, once at my home branch of Citibank on First Avenue, the "service specialist"--who'd been brought out in an attempt to pacify me after I'd insisted on more help--told me that the reason they hadn't posted a notice about some huge fee I'd been assessed is because, "This is a bank, not a library.") My friend is now, impressively, working on a book about Turkish politics, for which she was paid a spectacular advance, so my potential coauthor is tied up with other projects.

But, even now back in L.A., I've got stories. CVS recently converted my local Sav-on pharmacy to its nameplate. I have a single prescription there, and it's always a nightmare trying to fill it--there are long lines, nobody knows what they're doing, the staff is suspiciously young, your drugs are never there even after you call in to verify they're ready, they never have your proper insurance information, they never get your name right, and therefore tell you after an hour that they're turning up no records for a Ms. Goobin. I'd had so many shockingly bad experiences there (i.e. a month ago I waited nearly two hours for them to figure out my prescription, so that by the time I got out to the parking lot with my validated parking ticket, the attendant told me I'd been in there way too long and had to pay. If you know me personally, you can imagine about how well that went over.) that I actually laughed out loud the other night by myself when I saw a commercial talking about how CVS is so friendly and knowledgeable and is sure to save you time and money, and always delivers on their promises of being ready with your meds when you're in a hurry.

So I'm in there last night, and it's roughly after-work time, 7 PM or so, and there's almost no line, and I'm actually remarking to myself that things seem to be running more smoothly, and maybe CVS has worked out the kinks by now. So I'm giving the guy all my personal information, including insurance data, prescription info, phone number, birth date. This goes on for a few minutes, until some of his coworkers from way back in the pharmacy start hollering at him: "Turn off your speaker phone!" My girl-issue pills: public record.

5 comments:

mexi melt said...

i use walgreens.
despite the fact that some of the employees don't speak english and are most likely (at least they look like) pre-op trannies only working there for the discount on hormones, they get my prescription right every time and seem to really enjoy their job.

go walgreens!

Erica said...

It seriously takes an hour to fill a prescription? Yesterday I stopped by CVS after the gym and was in and out in probably three minutes. I think once there were two people in front of me and it took ten minutes. The things I miss by not living in a city.

Dubin said...

Actually, the CVSs around here aren't that bad. Maybe it's THAT CVS.

Dubin said...

By the way, I know you think it's clear when you say "girlfriend" in a Gert-like fashion, but if you reread the first sentence of this post again, it sounds like you and your lesbian g.f. moved to NY together at some point. Not that I care if you're a lesbian; I'm no homophobe.

shaymo said...

i could write that book with you! or at least contribute to a section titled "Appalachia, Comin Atcha" about how people like to come up to you in stores, ask personal questions/say "You're not from 'round here, are yew?" and then disappear/have no idea how to help you/dissolve into a cloud of total inability before your eyes.
xo,
shaya